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if the “electronic box of tricks” under the seat went wrong then you had to sell your or somebody else’s better half to afford a new one.  

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When I think about it I have to go off and cry into my beer

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As any Star Wars fan might say, “let your feelings guide you”,  and run your fingers over them. 

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I have just been informed that in a few weeks time my wife and kids are going to go and visit the in-laws

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Strangely enough, most of the rest of the ride was taken up dreaming of the toilets there, which is a complete first for me

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